I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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