Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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