Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
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