I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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