Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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