Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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