i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
