how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
