What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
