you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
