apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
