I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
