honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I intend to get homeless drunk
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
