Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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