Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
