I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
