under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
