I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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