Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
