I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
