I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My balls are so social today.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
