dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
last night I used snow as a chaser
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
There's even glitter on my cock...
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