This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
