Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
