So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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