Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize