I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
