This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
