I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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