Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
