Sry I called you an 8
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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