don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
bring money and cleavage
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
