she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
