did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
