What a fucking waste of an outfit
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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