I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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