Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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