I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
