I hate your face
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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