you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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