im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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