just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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