So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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