I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
