Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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