I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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