Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Success! We fucked roommates!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
