I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
