yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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