Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
