At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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