That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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