just tell him i said nine months
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize