actually, I'm a sock model
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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