proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize