We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
