the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
