i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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