She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
